It was the beginning of the year. Literally it was New Year’s Day. My husband and I were at patient first. As the doctor comes in the room to talk to us, she begins the conversation with we’re positive for COVID. Soon after she tells us we must quarantine for fourteen days. My mind races with thoughts of what I need to do and what I am able to actually accomplish with being inside for that long.
When we get home, I start thinking of my to do list. What can I do while I’m inside so I’m able to feel some kind of accomplishment with me being stuck inside this long? I start with scrubbing and disinfecting the house. Then I start out with doing the laundry that accumulates so quickly in our house. After, I want all the sheets cleaned in our rooms. I get to that closet that I’ve been putting off that needs organization. I am finally able to get myself to mate those socks that I’ve been dreading to do and finally have the drive to do them. I’m able to get to those drawers that need to be cleaned out in our bedrooms. After all that was done, I’m on day five. Now what? My mind goes to thinking of what happens after this quarantine. What happens when we are able to go back out or when the days start to change because quarantine is over with.
I realized I’ve become content with being inside. I became comfortable with waking up each day and living the exact same way. Of course, with a different chore that I feel must be done. With my to do list done I sit down and think what can I do now? And then it strikes me that on my to do list I made no time for me and the Lord. As it was so easy for me to come up with a list of chores, I never thought to mention to get closer with the Lord. Conviction hit and it hit me hard.
I ask the Lord first to forgive me for my ignorance. Forgive me for neglecting Him when He is so faithful to me. Then I ask Him to put me back on fire for Him and reveal to me whatever it is that is blocking me from Him. And of course, He answers my prayer. He showed me that I have a hard time with change. I have a hard time when a curveball is thrown into my day and takes me off course.
As I reflect on change in my life. I think of all the torment that the thought of change brings to my mind. I realize that when change is brought to my attention, I tend to already have the thought of change ending in a disaster.
And then it hits me again if I am so comfortable with living each day the same, having the same behavior day in and day out. Having the same schedule over and over again how can I grow in the Lord? The Lord calls us to become uncomfortable. By allowing ourselves to become uncomfortable in situations and circumstances we see the Lord taking charge of our lives and having the blind faith that Jesus instructs us to have.
“And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, that you may prove what that is good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
For me it is so easy to get wrapped up with the thoughts of this world. The thought of repetition and how easy it is to just keep living the same life over and over again with the same results. There’s security in that lifestyle. There’s a guarantee of the same result occurring over and over again. But how am I supposed to grow?
Jesus doesn’t call us to live the same way over and over again. By living the same way there is no growth. The Bible is not able to be applied if we are experiencing the same circumstances and situations over and over again. How can we see Jesus’ hand if we already know the outcome each time?
It’s when we change it up. When we allow change not to fear us up but motivate us because we know that by change happening, we are seeing Jesus’ hand in the midst of that change. When we allow change, we are allowing our minds to be stretched and allowing Jesus to take center stage in our lives. In doing this there is growth, there is room for our faith to be applied in our lives.
So, I leave you with these two questions to ask yourself: Are you allowing change to fear you up so that it is blocking you from taking that next step with Him? Or, are you living your life daily with blind life allowing Jesus to intervene when a curveball is thrown in your day?
~ Amanda Green