As Dana and I watched and observed the last couples’ event I was telling Dana the Holy Spirit really spoke to me differently this time. I was able to share at the end the parallel that the Lord showed me and even though we have done this event before and slightly altered it, the lesson the Lord showed us was totally different.
As we watched the couples work, the men approached the designated area and looked at the model; some asked questions, and many listened to Mr. King as he demonstrated and explained how to do it. The men then explained it to the women, and we watched it unfold over time. The amazing thing to watch was that even at points of frustration, there were times that couples would wipe off what they had done and start over; there were times when the men could not explain it exactly the way they intended, so they kept going up to see the model again Mr. King created. At times there was even dialogue between the men and Mr. King, who was the designer of the cakes they were trying to replicate, but at no time did any of the couples call it quits, walk away from the table, or give up.
The Lord showed me what a parallel this was to how our marriages and relationships should look in many ways. See, there are times when things are tough and when we need to reset, but we do not give up and walk away. As men, we should always go back to the model we have been given to follow, Jesus, and the blueprint design of marriage that our Father has created. We do not just look at it once; we continue to look at it repeatedly; when times are great, we go to it, and when times are rough, we go to it.
Marriage has been designed and ordained by God. I heard a Pastor once say, Christians have come to believe marriage is ideal, then it becomes an ordeal, then they want a new deal. But the scripture gives us some great insight as husbands in 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Although we are different, we understand that one is not better than the other, we are just created differently.
1.Physical: dwell with them: fundamentally we are in a physical relationship: the two shall be one flesh (Ephesians 5:31)
We must make time to be home with our wives, be present with our wives, not watching TV or sitting on our phones which I can say I fall victim to at times. One survey revealed the average married couple only spends 37 minutes a week together in actual communication:
We spend time in ministry and pouring into strangers and the body but do we leave our wives spiritually full or empty?
2.Intellectual: We must know our wives’ moods, feelings, needs, fears and hopes. There is a need to listen with our heart and have meaningful communication. The home must be one that is of a protective atmosphere of love and submission. We need to be tough for them but tender with them.
How can we show honor and consideration if we really do not know them?
3.Emotional: The wife is not the weaker vessel mentally, morally, or spiritually but often physically. There are of course exceptions, but our wives are like beautiful and fragile vases in which they should be treated with a gentleness.
A godly husband realizes that his spouse is not only his wife, but also his sister in Jesus. Part of their inheritance in the Lord is only realized in their oneness as husband and wife.
As the husbands, we may set the emotional and spiritual thermostat, but our wives sure enough are the thermometer letting us know what that temperature is.
4.Spiritual: If there are happy marriages when people pray alone, think about the enhancement that comes from praying together.
When we are not treating our spouses right the prayers to the Lord become hindered. There are spiritual consequences to our failure to live as a godly husband.
So, I ask, what is the spiritual thermostat of your relationship?
Frank D.